Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Incoherence
Why does the blog have the name it does?
One of the reasons that our customers can find themselves in our unofficial hall of fame is for the sheer confusion that they sow among the staff. Probably the most memorable in my mind is a guy who managed to have everything that makes technical support calls rough: he was angry, he was ignorant, and worst of all, he was almost entirely unintelligible. Most times, when he called, the person answering would try to figure out what the customer was trying to communicate, but it was usually futile. We would just end up recording the snippets of English that we could catch. Some of his best expostulations:
"The cell block makes you rich!"
"You are making a funny thing!"
"You are not the one who makes the connection, I am the one making the connection!"
"If we don't see it, how do we look for the source?"
"If the browser colors become white, I do not see it! But I am no stupid, I do not care about colors, I look at the source of the page, and you are there!"
"I will involve the law! I know how to do that!"
"You are spamming that, the page it exists no longer! I complain, and it is eliminated!"
"I am poor!" (then 10 minutes later, on the same call) "I make more than lawyers!"
"The mail is spam and is garbage and has man parts!"
"I have my own language! I have trained myself through many years!"
No disagreements there. One of the most cryptic and amusing things he'd ever said was that "you are the suckerfish on the side of my whale!" And so now, when we think about befuddling calls, this individual always comes to mind. Since he's everything that can make our job difficult, it seemed only fitting to honor him with this blog name.
One of the reasons that our customers can find themselves in our unofficial hall of fame is for the sheer confusion that they sow among the staff. Probably the most memorable in my mind is a guy who managed to have everything that makes technical support calls rough: he was angry, he was ignorant, and worst of all, he was almost entirely unintelligible. Most times, when he called, the person answering would try to figure out what the customer was trying to communicate, but it was usually futile. We would just end up recording the snippets of English that we could catch. Some of his best expostulations:
"The cell block makes you rich!"
"You are making a funny thing!"
"You are not the one who makes the connection, I am the one making the connection!"
"If we don't see it, how do we look for the source?"
"If the browser colors become white, I do not see it! But I am no stupid, I do not care about colors, I look at the source of the page, and you are there!"
"I will involve the law! I know how to do that!"
"You are spamming that, the page it exists no longer! I complain, and it is eliminated!"
"I am poor!" (then 10 minutes later, on the same call) "I make more than lawyers!"
"The mail is spam and is garbage and has man parts!"
"I have my own language! I have trained myself through many years!"
No disagreements there. One of the most cryptic and amusing things he'd ever said was that "you are the suckerfish on the side of my whale!" And so now, when we think about befuddling calls, this individual always comes to mind. Since he's everything that can make our job difficult, it seemed only fitting to honor him with this blog name.
# posted by Terry @ 3:48 PM 
