Thursday, June 22, 2006
Terminology
It's not too surprising that many customers don't know terms like "initialization string", "operating system", and so forth. What gets more surprising is that there's an entire language of "slang" computer terms created and used by people who don't know the proper ones. Some examples:
"Close that off" or "X that out" - Close the current window
"Hard drive" - The PC case and all its contents
"Screen saver" - Wallpaper
The last two are examples of a subset of this group that I call "horribly misusing technical terms". When a customer uses a real term inaccurately like this, we end up having to figure out what they mean by context. On the off chance that a customer uses a plausible term that is incorrect, they can cause further confusion. A prime example of this is where a customer is unable to send or receive e-mails but says that it disconnects when they try to send or receive e-mails. They can easily get the wrong solution and waste a call's worth of our time and theirs.
More amusingly, there are people who have such a poor grasp of terminology that even our dumbed-down terms don't get through. Some actual conversations:
"So is my modem my hard drive or is it my screen?"
"Okay, now close that window please."
"How do I close the window?"
"Just click the X at the top right corner."
"What's an X?"
"What's a modem?"
"Well, sir, it's basically a phone for your computer. It lets your computer talk to our computers over the phone line."
"What's a phone?"
Please note that these last two MAY have been English issues, as the employee who answered the calls isn't with us anymore and I can't remember. Having said that, I would not be at all shocked to hear they were fluent, as people frequently seem to turn off their brains entirely when dealing with computer issues. Consider this conversation that I had myself with a woman who spoke English perfectly:
"I can't get to my Yahoo mail."
"Okay, are you able to view other web pages at all?"
"I don't know; I only use the internet for Yahoo mail."
"Okay..."
[insert some troubleshooting here, basically I notice her home page is set to something else, and figure if she only uses Yahoo mail we might as well set it as her home page]
"Okay, just erase what it says there and type mail.yahoo.com."
"How do I erase that?"
"Is it highlighted in blue?"
"Yes"
"Okay, just press 'backspace'"
"I can't find that"
"Okay, try the 'delete' key instead"
"Okay, now it says 'delete all files in the temporary internet folder', what do I do now?"
After a brief moment of confusion, I realize that rather than pressing the 'delete' key on her keyboard, she has clicked the 'delete files' button on the screen.
"Okay, click 'cancel'. Now I don't want you to click the 'delete files' button, I want you to press the 'delete' key on your keyboard."
"What's a keyboard?"
After 5 solid minutes of attempting to explain what a keyboard is using phrases like "The thing your hands are touching when you type an e-mail" and "The thing with all the letters and numbers on it", I gave up. Frankly, I hope she was senile, because otherwise I have very little hope for humanity.
"Close that off" or "X that out" - Close the current window
"Hard drive" - The PC case and all its contents
"Screen saver" - Wallpaper
The last two are examples of a subset of this group that I call "horribly misusing technical terms". When a customer uses a real term inaccurately like this, we end up having to figure out what they mean by context. On the off chance that a customer uses a plausible term that is incorrect, they can cause further confusion. A prime example of this is where a customer is unable to send or receive e-mails but says that it disconnects when they try to send or receive e-mails. They can easily get the wrong solution and waste a call's worth of our time and theirs.
More amusingly, there are people who have such a poor grasp of terminology that even our dumbed-down terms don't get through. Some actual conversations:
"So is my modem my hard drive or is it my screen?"
"Okay, now close that window please."
"How do I close the window?"
"Just click the X at the top right corner."
"What's an X?"
"What's a modem?"
"Well, sir, it's basically a phone for your computer. It lets your computer talk to our computers over the phone line."
"What's a phone?"
Please note that these last two MAY have been English issues, as the employee who answered the calls isn't with us anymore and I can't remember. Having said that, I would not be at all shocked to hear they were fluent, as people frequently seem to turn off their brains entirely when dealing with computer issues. Consider this conversation that I had myself with a woman who spoke English perfectly:
"I can't get to my Yahoo mail."
"Okay, are you able to view other web pages at all?"
"I don't know; I only use the internet for Yahoo mail."
"Okay..."
[insert some troubleshooting here, basically I notice her home page is set to something else, and figure if she only uses Yahoo mail we might as well set it as her home page]
"Okay, just erase what it says there and type mail.yahoo.com."
"How do I erase that?"
"Is it highlighted in blue?"
"Yes"
"Okay, just press 'backspace'"
"I can't find that"
"Okay, try the 'delete' key instead"
"Okay, now it says 'delete all files in the temporary internet folder', what do I do now?"
After a brief moment of confusion, I realize that rather than pressing the 'delete' key on her keyboard, she has clicked the 'delete files' button on the screen.
"Okay, click 'cancel'. Now I don't want you to click the 'delete files' button, I want you to press the 'delete' key on your keyboard."
"What's a keyboard?"
After 5 solid minutes of attempting to explain what a keyboard is using phrases like "The thing your hands are touching when you type an e-mail" and "The thing with all the letters and numbers on it", I gave up. Frankly, I hope she was senile, because otherwise I have very little hope for humanity.
# posted by Gideon Humphrey @ 10:53 AM 
