Suckerfish on the Side of Your Whale

I am just dumbfounded by this last call.


OurCompany, how can I help you ?
"I signed up last week, but I haven't received my package yet."

We don't send out any packages. Are you sure you signed up with us ?
"Yes, I haven't received the modem though."

This is OurCompany. We provide a dial-up service. We require that you have a dial-up modem in your computer. We don't provide any modems. With which company did you sign up ?
"SomeDSLcompany"

Then you have reached the wrong number.
"Can you transfer me over?"

This is OurCompany, not SomeDSLcompany. This is a completly different company. I can't transfer you to them. You will need to call SomeDSLcompany.
"Can I sign up with you?"

Yes you can, but our service requires that you have a dial-up modem in your computer.
"Ok, I will call back tomorrow."