Suckerfish on the Side of Your Whale

It's not even 9 AM yet the day after our major outage and the fallout is starting to pour in. People are calling in to have routers reset, passwords given, etc. There's a lot of 678 errors - which is essentially the PC saying it's timing out but can essentially be frustrating because you don't know where the issue may lie in the chain. These can be troublesome calls and not quick, which is what you want when you have a massive cue, but I digress...

Despite the fallout and all that goes with that, I had a woman sneak in our cue and call in about printing some hard copies of certain emails and she couldn't remember how.
Me: "So just hit ctrl+p on your keyboard and it will print whatever screen you're on in Windows. The ctrl key is in the lower left of your keyboard."
Caller: "I just see start."
Me: "No, on your keyboard. You know the thing you type on?!"
Caller: "But I only see start!"
Me: "No, no. LISTEN to what I'm saying. I said KEEEEEY-BOOOARD!" (I said this as politely as one could say it)
Caller: "Oh, silly me! This is what happens when you're a senior! So ctrl+f then?!"
Me: (or at least this what I wanted to say) "No, this is what happens when you're NOT LISTENING!"