Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Practical karma
I'm in love with the idea of karmic-themed businesses. It started with a restaurant idea: what if your service depended on how well you treated the staff? It seems so perfect! The staff get to enjoy the truly nice customers, and that in turn makes the service much better. The jerks get filtered out like so much chaff, and if they stick around in spite of the service, then the staff gets to take out frustrations on them. Compare:
Nice Customer: "Oh, waiter, I think there's a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry about that! Let me fetch another soup for you, and I'll take this off your bill."
...
Rude Customer: "Waiter! There's a f***ing fly in my soup! What is this, a third world restaurant? Are you all incompetent?"
Waiter: "Die in a fire. You and everything you hold dear are meaningless. Here is a life-sized cardboard picture of Julia Roberts which I will seat at your table across from you. You will look at her and smile for the remainder of your time here, and you will be served Leprosy Surprise for dessert."
I can't see any downside.
Working in any service job carries the risk of seeing you become terminally cynical. Every sensible, rational person you've ever dealt with is obscured by the haze of a thousand moronic questions, unnecessary obfuscations, and ludicrous displays of pompousness. Stephane's comment about email reminds me that I'd love to be able to reply to every email in a manner similar to the sender's.
Incoming messages
1) how do i get rid of it
2) Your service has reached new levels of incompetence and I should be entitled to a rebate for having to put up with all of this nonsense.
3) I'm wondering why my wireless service doesn't work at night?
1) try applying a cream nightly
2) I should be entitled to a bonus every time I reply to one of your emails. Bluster and indignant declarations do not mean you know what you're talking about.
3) Beanfields.
Nice Customer: "Oh, waiter, I think there's a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry about that! Let me fetch another soup for you, and I'll take this off your bill."
...
Rude Customer: "Waiter! There's a f***ing fly in my soup! What is this, a third world restaurant? Are you all incompetent?"
Waiter: "Die in a fire. You and everything you hold dear are meaningless. Here is a life-sized cardboard picture of Julia Roberts which I will seat at your table across from you. You will look at her and smile for the remainder of your time here, and you will be served Leprosy Surprise for dessert."
I can't see any downside.
Working in any service job carries the risk of seeing you become terminally cynical. Every sensible, rational person you've ever dealt with is obscured by the haze of a thousand moronic questions, unnecessary obfuscations, and ludicrous displays of pompousness. Stephane's comment about email reminds me that I'd love to be able to reply to every email in a manner similar to the sender's.
Incoming messages
1) how do i get rid of it
2) Your service has reached new levels of incompetence and I should be entitled to a rebate for having to put up with all of this nonsense.
3) I'm wondering why my wireless service doesn't work at night?
1) try applying a cream nightly
2) I should be entitled to a bonus every time I reply to one of your emails. Bluster and indignant declarations do not mean you know what you're talking about.
3) Beanfields.
Labels: delusional
# posted by Terry @ 12:13 AM 
